When Lois asked me why I was living in Columbia and not Austin, I told her it was for school. I explained that while I had been waitlisted at the University of Texas, I had received generous funding and research preference at USC. From the beginning I had thought that UT was a long shot for me; I had really only applied there because my friend kept encouraging me to. But I had had little hope of getting in.

When Lois asked me why I had such little faith in myself, I said that the UT program was far more prestigious than USC's and that I was sure I wasn't smart enough to be there. As I spoke, I felt as if I were trying to talk myself into believing my own words. Then Lois said something that I tried to blow off, but it resonated so deeply in my soul, I couldn't ignore it. She said, "You screwed up. You sabotaged your own destiny by not believing you could have what you want."

Even though I tried to keep a cool exterior and hold onto the lie I had been telling myself for so long, my face got hot and tears started streaming down my face. Lois insisted that my destiny was in Austin and that if I stayed in South Carolina, I would die a spiritual death and be so miserable and lonely that none of my dreams would be realized. What she was telling me made me extremely uncomfortable since the obvious comfortable path for me was to continue living in Columbia and not to rearrange my life to be in Austin where I had not even been accepted to graduate school.

Yet something inside of me knew that Lois was right. I had given up on the chance of finding lasting love and I certainly was living with the belief that I could not fully achieve my career goals. I had not felt happy or connected with my life for nearly three years. What on earth made me think my feelings would change in the next three? Even more disturbing to me was why I was willing to be miserable just to get a degree that I could get elsewhere.

Lois kept encouraging me to call the director of the UT program and "talk him into" accepting me. She insisted that my destiny was here. She said, "The man you're supposed to marry is here. Big love, children, the whole deal is here in Austin and you're missing it." Lois had no personal investment in how I lived my life-she was just the messenger. And her intuition was picking up the message so loudly that she simply could not stop talking about it. She insisted over and over again that it was possible for me to have my career and find love all in the same place.

Lois finally broke through my pessimism and convinced me to contact the director of the UT graduate program. She even suggested I call from her home. And so I did. I left a message asking him to reconsider my application. Shortly after I returned to Columbia, he returned my call and we had a great conversation. He took me off the waitlist and accepted my application over the phone, even ensuring me a funded position as a teaching assistant. I will never forget the elation I felt when he said, "Welcome to Austin." I was excited, grateful, and relieved that I would no longer be living where I was not thriving personally.

Within a month of moving to Austin, I met a guy who I could be myself with. I hadn't realized until I was in a relationship where I could be myself that I had been living as an imposter in all my previous relationships. Not long after we met, we moved in together and a month later, I was pregnant. In under two years, I had found a challenging and exciting graduate program, married the love of my life, and given birth to a healthy baby.

Even though all of these key life events happened at breakneck speed and have often been overwhelming, I have never been happier. Lois had been right. My destiny was here, waiting for me. I was just late showing up.